Did you know that the universe was actually formed by not one, but several, big bangs, the sound of which bore a striking resemblance to the finale of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture?

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Did you know that this cosmic symphony continues to this day and is the fabric that holds the universe together?

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Did you know that it is going out of tune, and that this could lead to the destruction of all life in the cosmos?!

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If your answer is "no," then Groodle Schmoodler’s evil plan to silence scientists throughout the universe has worked, and you are in grave danger of extinction!

The Facts...

Extraterrestrial climatologists have found disturbing and conclusive evidence that large-scale interplanetary imports and exports are directly responsible for universal detuning, a phenomenon that threatens to destroy all life in the cosmos. This devastating doomsday disaster could be prevented if only the public were aware of the danger. 
 

The Villain...

Groodle Schmoodler is a seven-tentacled, radially symmetrical, oodlean cult leader who will stop at nothing to silence the scientists and spread misinformation about universal detuning. His motivation: he is the CEO of the Intergalactic Trade and Travel Corporation, which generates astronomical profits from the very thing that is said to be destroying the universe. In fact, Schmoodler plans to open a wormline that would drastically speed up the transport of goods and maximize his profits.

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Our Heroine...

Enter Linda Pumpernickel, a bumbling retiree struggling to find meaning in her existence on a barely-habitable Earth. Her world is flipped upside-down when she receives a broken pitch pipe for her 65th birthday, a family heirloom from her senile great aunt. When Linda blows into the pitch pipe, she inadvertently summons a member of a secret society of alien environmentalists. Fueled by a good cup of tea and a new sense of purpose, Linda embarks on a mission through time and space to help their cause. 

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Alien Sidekicks...

Luckily, the absent-minded senior isn’t alone on her journey. Linda is accompanied by Larv, a third instar larvalux of the cochlean species known for their ultra-sensitive hearing. Along the way, they meet the Mabitu, an elusive, genderless creature who lives in constant peril due to its potent pheromones that render it irresistible to most sentient beings. Throughout their travels, they encounter more companions with bizarre anatomies living in peculiar habitats on strange worlds. Can this ragtag group of alien allies outwit a powerful megalomaniac and save the universe from going out of tune?